Flush On The River

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I am glad to announce that the theme of this blog is no longer reflections of humanity. I am tired of writing about why I think life is the way it is - I want to focus on life itself. All the colors and subtle nuances. All the experiences. And most importantly, all the people that make it meaningful and colorful.

The one and only game begins.
Two cards lay before me.
A three and a ten of hearts.

The clock ticks.
A seven of hearts lay before me.
A jack of spades looked at me.
A king of clubs led the flop.

I felt the fear within me.
My enemies plotted against me.
I had nothing.

I had no choice in this one and only game.
I had to call the bet.
The stakes were raised.

In the glimpse of an eye, the next card was dealt.
It was the five of hearts.
Everyone bet in equal parts.
The stakes were raised.

Not a pair. Not a straight.I had nothing.
I despaired.

Then came the river.
With bated breath I took a look.
The number four just lay there...
Laughing at me,
Mocking me.

My enemies grinned.
The stakes were raised even further.
I wanted to fold and leave the game.
Defeated. Lost.

In that moment of darkness,
I listened to the words of an elder,
Who made me realize that all was not in vain.
I had five hearts.
Flush on the river!

There was a time when I felt defeated. Social ties were left to collect dust. I stopped dancing. I (unintentionally) starved myself. My health; my wellbeing; faltered... In retrospect, the difficult periods I faced in the two years I have been away from home were not in vain. I grew as a person. It gave me resilience and thought me how to take control of my life.

Asides from my study commitments, 2009 will be all about building/maintaining social networks and attaining peak physical form. I really hope to start dancing (salsa) soon. Everything is falling into place. Things are looking very bright. I had a flush on the river...

No Such Thing

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______Welcome to the real world; She said to me kind of condescendingly; Take a seat, take your life; Plot it out in black and white; Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings; And the drama queens; Id like to think the best of me; Is still hiding up my sleeve.
______So the good boys and girls take the so-called right track; Faded white hats grabbing the credits and making transfers; They read all the books but they cant find the answers; And all of our parents, theyre getting older; I wonder if theyve wished for anything better.
______While in their memories, tiny tragedies; They love to tell you stay inside the lines; But somethings better on the other side. I wanna run through the halls of my high school; I wanna scream at the top of my lungs; I just found out theres no such thing as the real world; Just a lie youve got to rise above.. -No Such Thing, by John Mayer.


Values. Inherent in everyone and available in all shades of colors. Some are to a person's detriment. Some are fundamental to success. We grow up absorbing our values from those around us. From society. From people.

Society wants us to conform. To stay inside the lines. To live according to it's values, for good or for worse. As time passes, we develop our own values. We learn what values are good for us and what are to our detriment.

It is time for me to shed the values that have tainted my perception of the world..and to nurture the values that would make me a better person. Humility is just a word. To be humble of mind and actions will be the ultimate test of my character. Humility of actions is easily achieved by those who are (physically) weak, but humility of mind is a totally different matter. The temptation to resort to arrogance of mind to feel good about myself in the face of adversity is strong...but there is hope. For the light of truth shines through the lie; humbling an arrogant mind.

Where The Advice of Others Failed...

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This post was drafted on 1st Jan 2009, but was only published five days later as I was looking for a suitable picture and new border style. *thanks to anonymous (10/1/09) for pointing out the inappropriateness of the use of the word "elder". The post has been edited appropriately to make it more politically correct.

(1) A socially retarded person who spent his youth as an outcast once told his brother: "Friends are not important, they come and go..". But he did not tell his brother that it brought him much suffering during his youth. Through the pain of isolation, he had learnt to cope by telling himself that friends were not important to feel good about himself.

(2) An ugly person who only hooked up in his mid 30s and married when he was 39 told his teen friend: "Dont worry, someone will come along. Just focus on your work and dont be too concerned". But he did not tell his disciple that he had suffered years of loneliness, and at the end was so desperate that he had to settle for an unattractive girl that other guys had shunned. Married out of desperation... but called it love after awhile. He never experienced loving sex in the prime of his life... but his disciple never learnt this... and was doomed to follow in his footsteps.

(3) A fat person has been battling obesity for as long as he can remember and tells his friend: "Eat less. Dont eat so much. Eventually your stomach will expand and your appetite will become uncontrollable. You will become fat so fast. Look at me. Look at what happened to our friend who was once slim". But he forgot that his disciple was not a glutton. His disciple avoided overeating like the plague. He got used to suppressing his appetite. When times were rough, he missed meals but never bothered and never felt hungry. He lost weight to a point where he was a walking stick. When he realizes the fallacy of the advice he was give, precious years at the prime of his life has been wasted.

(4) A religionist is proud of his religion and regularly blesses marraiges. He tells his friend: "Marraige protects you against disease and increases your longetivity". But he didnt tell his friend that that was only a statistical correlation. Humans want to reproduce/marry/lay/make_babies with other humans who are worthy. Beautiful girls with hourglass figures and socially dominant men are at the top of the gene pool and are attractive and thus more likely to marry. Those that remain single all their life are likely to be those whom are not _thriving_ (a subject of a later post) and are thus so unattractive that they couldnt find someone who is willing to marry/make_babies/lay/bang them. People who are not thriving tend to be less attractive to the opposite sex. Hence, the real reason why people who never marry have shorter lives is that they are more likely to be less healthy. Healthy people tend to be more attractive and are more likely to marry.

Just because they have more experience than you does not mean that they are wise. They are wise only behind rose tinted glasses...believing what they want to believe. What makes them feel good about themselves. They are human beings and do have flaws. Im not saying that their advice is useless; quite often, it is to the contrary. What's important is to realize that prejudices and bias that can work against your development as a person may rub off on to you if advice is not taken with a pinch of salt.

(1) I will put more heart and mind into others for empathy is the prelude of friendship.
(2) I will open my heart to others, for it is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.
(3) I will eat well and in moderation.
(4) I will put effort into making myself body beautiful.

Most importantly, I will break the rose tinted glasses that have tainted my realities. I will not see what I want to see out of arrogance. In the face of adversity I will approach bitterness and pain with humility and calm. May god give me the strength to face my weaknesses and insecurities.

It is 2009, and this is my resolve.


Where the advice of others failed...I will succeed.