The Evolution of Me.

2007, 2008, 2009?

2009 is filled with uncertainty. I need to somehow rebuild the personal relationships that have been left to collect dust. This will have to happen somehow along with an 8am-5pm daily grind at the Monash Medical Center. On the other hand, I can already feel myself changing physically with a proper workout routine. It is likely I will be quite different by the end of 2009. With a reasonably good physique, 2009 would hopefully mark the end of a 3 year absence from the game of love. Through malnourishment I learnt the importance of physique in the game of love. Through isolation I learnt the importance of nurturing personal relationships. Through the failures that resulted from ignorance, I learnt the importance of humility - even in my own thoughts and monologues. The evolution of me continues...

2008 will be remembered as the year I faced the bitter truth of emotional and physical realities. I have paid the price for not nurturing personal relationships. There was no one to blame but myself - I did not have the desire to take an interest in others. After intentionally isolating myself (relatively) during the summer break, I felt the desire grow. The want, the need, the thirst for human interaction now permeates through my being. Pride/arrogance/ego makes one find excuses and explanations to oneself that deviate far from truth. Excuses lead to complacency and ignorance. 2008 ended with the discovery of proper strength training. I used to be so ignorant. I thought jumping around a court, running, and doing simple chest presses were adequate exercise to elevate my physical form from one that was very malnourished (link).

2007 is the year I turned 21. Life in Melbourne has opened my eyes to the reality that is the world. I overcame my childish fears (link) and realized my weaknesses (link). Overcoming despair and sweeping away the remnants of the cold ash that darkened my heart gave me much insight - yet from 1997 it took me ten years to even realize simple truths such as those outlined in ladder theory (link). As much as I had reflected on issues surrounding me, I was looking at only the truths that I wanted to see. This is why 2007 is so special in the development of me as a person. It will be remembered as the year spent transcending the inner bigot. I am beginning to find my center. Spiritual issues have been resolved. I have financial security and I am in the country/university/course of my choosing. The veil has been lifted. I see now that the final frontier in my development as a person will need to revolve around interpersonal skills and kinesthetic knowledge - two things that I had consistently neglected for the past ten years. Things are looking bright. I've never felt better.

4 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds good! You should remember to start out being friends with a girl before you move on further into the relationship. Use your past experiences to help you in the future as well.

ps, just out of curiousity. What is your height/weight now?

ezralimm said...

Seasons greetings from down under, fellow visitor from Canada (=

Sound advice. Although IMHO, I feel that I should make it known (indirectly of course) of my real intentions (link). If a girl is attracted to me, im sure she will be my 'friend' *wink*.

Im currently slightly above 60kg and 174cm.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the friend trap. It isn't what it always seems to be. Half of the relationships I know of comes from being friends at first and as you get closer and closer...things happen.

Chivalry is key. Women can know easily if a guy is attracted to her and 1) either like it or 2) try to avoid you. That's when you know your answer and That's when you just stay friends with them.

Well your BMI sounds fine, you don't seem too scrawny. Looks shouldn't be an issue here. Just work on your personality and how to interact with the opposite sex.

Your past relationships should help you as well. You're 23 now right? 3rd year med student.

Anywho, just stopping by. I hit "next blog" and yours came up. For some reason, your blog seems very interesting to me :)

ezralimm said...

hmmph.. I thought you were someone who knew me through facebook.

Yeah, I literally look a whole lot different from when I was 46kg. Even my face changed.

Advice taken. Time to suck it up with the ladies. lol. Anyway, Im gonna try and play my cards right next year. Thanks for the encouragement.

If you blog, do drop a link.

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