Thanks For Visiting, Site Review 2008


The number of pageloads has increased dramatically, while the number of return visitors doubled. This, I believe, is partially due to the increase of traffic from google images. From the detailed logs, I know that they make up roughly half of the unique visits each day.

Latest Weekly Snapshot

A "returning visitor" is defined as a visitor who opens the blog and reaccesses it more than three hours later. The system isnt perfect but it is smart enough not to register my own visits. However, if someone opens my blog from a different computer or browser, it will not register as a returning visit but rather as a unique visit. Due to the amount of data collected, the statistics are valid despite these shortcomings.

The Pleasure Principle


What makes you feel good about yourself? Different people look to different things for pleasure. Of course, what pleasures are available to them is often determined by circumstance, yet as a person grows he/she has a certain amount of control over his/her destiny - and thus the pleasures that are available to him/her.

I contend that the pleasures available to a person determines the person's beliefs - for everyone will believe what makes them feel good about themselves. This is all fine and dandy in theory, but in the real world, people are not born equal. Some are rich; Some are poor; Some a beautiful; Some are ugly - To varying degrees of course.

This explains alot about what drives people to do what they do. When there is wealth, hedonistic pleasures are abundant. It is not surprising that in the first world, people tend to turn to hedonistic pleasures to feel good about themselves. It feels good to indulge yourself with worldly possessions and pastimes such as clubbing. When wealth is scarce, people have a tendency to turn to a belief system to feel good about themselves. Native people have ceremonies and rituals. Others turn to religion (whatever it may be) to give them a sense of purpose. It can be argued that religion does exist in the first world, but the reality is that when push comes to shove, people seek pleasure from hedonism and not religion - and that is where their allegence lies (despite technically having inherited a religion. no longer practiced of course). It's no coincidence that religion has been cast aside to funerals/marraiges and festive holidays in wealthy first world countries.

In the the game of love, the pleasure principle explains alot of what I have been experiencing. I am an honest person. When asked about why I go to the gym, my answer is as short and concise as possible - "to be more attractive to the girls...duh". I've been observing people's initial responses to that answer, and I have (subjectively) noticed a trend. Attractive/beautiful people's first response tends to be supportive (eg. "oh..that's wonderful"). Less-attractive people are less likely to do so. More importantly, the less attractive people are likely to give me a short lecture on why looks are not important (!). It was almost as if they took offence to my statement. Could it be that (physically) unattractive people are telling themselves that raw physical attractiveness is not as important as character/charm to feel good about themselves? It's a question that begs to be answered... As far as I know, girls are just as attracted by raw animal magnetism as guys. The girls that say they just want a sweet, nice, guy never realize that they only notice the "sweet, nice" characteristics of the guys with reasonably hot bodies. Similarly, guys tend to notice the good characteristics of the pretty girls. Many girls dont want to believe that raw physical attraction plays a key role in finding a partner, but in reality, how many couples (when they first met, early 20s) do you know of where the guy is both shorter and lighter than the girl? Ultimately girls do not notice the "nice" characteristics of guys who are both shorter and lighter than they are - and this is why physical build is important to a guy in the game of love.

I am not denying that character and cultural values also play a part in the game of love, but to deny the value of animal magnetism is to live a lie. Indeed, the attractive people are usually cautious and do mention that looks arent everything, after supporting my pursuit to increase my raw animal magnetism. The unattractive people often dont support my pursuit at all and they seem to hold strongly to the idea that they are somehow unaffected by raw animal magnetism - a belief/conviction (I contend) that makes them feel good about themselves.

The Evolution of Me.

2007, 2008, 2009?

2009 is filled with uncertainty. I need to somehow rebuild the personal relationships that have been left to collect dust. This will have to happen somehow along with an 8am-5pm daily grind at the Monash Medical Center. On the other hand, I can already feel myself changing physically with a proper workout routine. It is likely I will be quite different by the end of 2009. With a reasonably good physique, 2009 would hopefully mark the end of a 3 year absence from the game of love. Through malnourishment I learnt the importance of physique in the game of love. Through isolation I learnt the importance of nurturing personal relationships. Through the failures that resulted from ignorance, I learnt the importance of humility - even in my own thoughts and monologues. The evolution of me continues...

2008 will be remembered as the year I faced the bitter truth of emotional and physical realities. I have paid the price for not nurturing personal relationships. There was no one to blame but myself - I did not have the desire to take an interest in others. After intentionally isolating myself (relatively) during the summer break, I felt the desire grow. The want, the need, the thirst for human interaction now permeates through my being. Pride/arrogance/ego makes one find excuses and explanations to oneself that deviate far from truth. Excuses lead to complacency and ignorance. 2008 ended with the discovery of proper strength training. I used to be so ignorant. I thought jumping around a court, running, and doing simple chest presses were adequate exercise to elevate my physical form from one that was very malnourished (link).

2007 is the year I turned 21. Life in Melbourne has opened my eyes to the reality that is the world. I overcame my childish fears (link) and realized my weaknesses (link). Overcoming despair and sweeping away the remnants of the cold ash that darkened my heart gave me much insight - yet from 1997 it took me ten years to even realize simple truths such as those outlined in ladder theory (link). As much as I had reflected on issues surrounding me, I was looking at only the truths that I wanted to see. This is why 2007 is so special in the development of me as a person. It will be remembered as the year spent transcending the inner bigot. I am beginning to find my center. Spiritual issues have been resolved. I have financial security and I am in the country/university/course of my choosing. The veil has been lifted. I see now that the final frontier in my development as a person will need to revolve around interpersonal skills and kinesthetic knowledge - two things that I had consistently neglected for the past ten years. Things are looking bright. I've never felt better.

Unemployed. In Pain. Lonely.

Three Color Illusion

Unemployed: I have not received any responses from the places I applied to. After trying to apply online, I went around shopping malls looking for a job the old fashioned way. That was early last week. Havent heard anything yet. Perhaps I should have applied a little earlier - a few managers I spoke to said that they had been hiring for the summer months way back in October. It's almost mid December, so I doubt I'll be able to find a job now. The economic outlook for Australia is not very bright either with the global recession starting to have an effect down under.

Pain: I am now hurting. All over. I feel it in my chest. Everywhere.

With the closure of the Richardson Hall gym, I finally decided to join the Monash Gym. The staff there were helpful in pointing me in the right direction on how to use the equipment. The gym is well equipped. Below is my current routine.
  1. 20s stretches
  2. Track: 1000m @ 10km/h
  3. Weighted Squats (2x12)
  4. Assisted Pull Ups (2x12)
  5. Chest Press (2x12)
  6. Leg Curls (2x12)
  7. Seated Row (2x12)
  8. Shoulder Press (2x12)
  9. Dumbell Walking Lunge (2x8)
  10. Abdominal Circuit: 30 pairs of cross-crunches. 45s x 2 side plank.
  11. Track: 1000m @ 10km/h
  12. 30s stretches
Now that I have some idea of how to use gym equipment properly, I discovered that the maximum weight I could move is significantly more than what I use to train. For example, I could chest press about 50kg for six repetitions (my former routine). But to do that I would have to use momentum and rest intermittently by locking my arms forward. I can only push 30kg for 12 repetitions done right. Two seconds to push and two seconds to let the weights down - without any rest in between (no locking arms forward). Without the use of explosive force and momentum, pushing even 30kg for 12 repetitions took all I'd got as I was effectively applying 30kg of force non-stop for ~50 seconds. Many of the exercises, when done properly, turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated. I could do pull ups (hands far apart) unassisted about three times in a row. However, they are not proper pull ups. A proper pull up involves spending about two seconds ascending and two seconds descending (negating the effect of momentum). The best I can do 12 times in a row (without straightening my hands: 'dangling'/resting) is a 50% assisted pull up.

I think it is a well rounded routine my entire body will ache the next day. This is what my summer will be like for the most part. Gym on one day, rest on the next. Repeat all summer.

Lonely: I am glad that I am finally feeling lonely. Thank god. I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with me. Anyway, I am now starting to feel the urge/compulsion/desire/want to interact with others. It took a few weeks of social isolation but I think it was well worth it.