The Big Red Chili

The Biggest Red Chili Ever.
That's a 1.5L bottle of coke btw.

It's quite surprising how easily misconceptions can form. Here I would like to clarify what my previous post was about - it had drawn far more attention than I expected.

so wat if u dont have a car... wat did u use to do wen u didnt even have a driving license? get a lift with ur rents or borrow the car for an evening. here's a thought, get a friend to pick u up and pay gas money or something if its that far.. or call a cabby... there are ways around it...

It's not so simple. The bottom line is that back home, I will be stuck indoors on a _majority_ of days. The lifestyle doesnt only promote complacency but also makes me a slob. Sure, I can always rent/borrow a car for the evening.. but it is relatively costly and when push comes to shove, will only happen a few times a month at most - the rest of the month will be spent rotting at home.

Here in australia, my lifestyle is remarkably different. For some reason I have the motivation to get up in the morning and do things productive. Freedom and the need to care for myself is a strong driving force to do things productive - it is nonexistant when I'm pampered at home.

cause if its jst to analyse urself and ur ways then ur jst gonna put urself down... go out and have fun and jst wing it...

I honestly wish I could "have fun and just wing it". I did try that for a good part of the year - especially in the early months of Hall Society 2008. Somehow, I didnt derive much pleasure from interaction with other people. Believe me, I tried (very hard) to mix, mingle and click - ultimately, it was unsustainable.

Not deriving much joy from social interaction meant that I did not remember names/birthdays/events/"things about other people" that well - further inhibiting my ability to click. Notice how all sociable people pay attention and remember things about other people? Notice how the people you find nice and sociable tend to know/remember things about you?

It is my perception of others that needs to change. I just sense that a bit of isolation will do me good; to create an inner desire/want/impetus to click, connect and put mental effort towards other people (ie. becoming more extroverted). This, combined with a healthy lifestyle, healthy diet, healthy body, and healthy mind should hopefully lead to a healthy social life, come 2009.

Q: Why dont you change yourself instead of your environment?
A: Like... DUH. First and foremost I work on changing myself. It's simply easier to do in australia than at home.

C: Stop blaming the environment! It's not the environment, it's you!
RE: Here's a simple example: Is it easy to study in a pub? No. Is it easy to study in the library? Yes. Is it easy to become independant pampered in your parent's home? No. Is it easy to become independent living alone, fending for yourself? Yes.

C: Looks/Attractiveness isnt important.. (or whatever words you may use to carry the same meaning)
A: Read THIS. I have answered this question in depth before. Also, look at ANY psychology text book. It has been proven over and over that looks/attractiveness/beauty is very important in building interpersonal relationships. Bottom line, in simple english: Ugly people are ignored. Beautiful people get attention. Ugly people have to settle for scraps. Beautiful people get choice selections of partners. People who deny this and say looks dont matter usually are the ones who did not get their choice selection of partners and had to settle for less...and called it love after awhile. ALTERNATIVELY they may be people who were lucky enough to have a person of their standard show interest in them - in that case i'd say that they are just being arrogant cocks.

Q: Are you trying to score/lay/fvck/bang a girl?
A: No. Re-read my previous posts for my motivation for doing this.

Q: Why dont you just go out more?
A: Yes, that is what Im actively trying to do. But that is not my problem. My problem is a lack of interest in other people inhibiting my ability to "click" so to speak.

C: All you need is confidence...
A: Confidence simply isnt an issue for me. If you are confident, come comment with your real name. I dont have any problems talking with people (boys and girls, beautiful and ugly alike) and have participated in numerous public speaking competitions. I am not a loner and yes I do have numerous acquaintances. When I speak about "building relationships" and "clicking" I am referring to building close friendships and hopefully a building a relationship with a reasonably attractive woman as well.

p.p.p.p.p.s google chrome sucks! Firefox rules =)


Anonymous said...

Read through the posts.... I think the problem you have is that you're trying to intellectualise things. You can't look at HLSD as the answer to your problem, you can't look at what psychologists say.

If you 'try' and be empathetic it just won't work. Just be yourself. It's a big world, eventually you'll find someone like you.

What are you doing for the summer btw? where are you staying?

ezralimm said...

To other readers: HLSD stands for Human Lifespan Development. It is part of my course that involves the study of human psychosocial development.

Anonymous, there are some things that I have wanted to say for some time (long before HLSD), but did not quite have the words to say. HLSD was useful in providing me with the vocabulary and "streams of thought" to properly express myself without offending other people too much.

As a realist I believe that truth is not necessarily politically correct. This blog is not intended to offend anyone. The alternative to intellectualizing potentially offensive opinions is to use euphemisms - I tried that in my drafts initially, but ultimately it never got posted as ideas ended up being excessively vague.

I'll be in the halls. My summer plan is sort of detailed in the post above.

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