First, a few definitions:
Social Dominance: in control of one's life and has a certain level of connectedness with those in his social circle. In the modern world, social dominance is difficult to achieve without money, but possible on a tight budget none the less.
Pretty: sexually attractive / proportionate (whatever your definition of sexual attractiveness may be)
Ugly: not sexually attractive / disproportionate (note: it's not about being slim or chubby...)
1) Consider The Following Statements
Guys like girls who are pretty.
Girls like guys who are socially dominant.
Guys would not usually think of actively courting / spending resources on girls whom they are not at least a little bit sexually attracted (or physically aroused by) to.
Girls would not usually think of actively trying to get the attention of guys whom they perceive as being weak.
Guys try to court the pretty girls.
Pretty girls have a wide choice of guys.
Pretty girls will not usually settle for guys who are non-socially dominant.
Girls try to attract the socially dominant guys.
Socially dominant guys have a wide choice of girls.
Socially dominant guys will not usually settle for girls who are ugly.
Your "average" girl may just so happen to appeal to a really socially dominant guy.
Your "average" guy may just so happen to appeal to a really pretty girl.
2) Face The Truth
Being pretty improves a girl's chances of finding the right guy who is reasonably socially dominant, reasonably well built, and compatible.
Being socially dominant improves a guy's chances of finding the right girl who is reasonably charming/feminine, reasonably sexually attractive, and compatible.
3) Reality Bites
Think about the girl who realizes that she's in her 30s and has never dated. She was never sexually attractive enough to have a guy who was up to her expectations ask her out. To avoid feeling bad, she tells herself that she was distracted by the pursuit of knowledge and wealth/career. Her biological clock is ticking. She knows she's way past her prime...
Not all girls are pretty.
The average girl learns that the most eligable bachelors are out of her reach and looks elsewhere. She finds a guy who he thinks is right for her. She calls it love after awhile.
Now what about the guy who never attracted the attention of a girl whom he finds reasonably attractive? He has never really had any real experience with women. Now he finds himself shy to ask girls out because of bad experiences (with the pretty girls who had more eligable suitors). He's been working for 10 years and now has his own little humble place. He's feeling lonely and knows that his youth is nearing it's end.
Not all guys are socially dominant.
The average guy learns to lower his expectations/standard to a point where he is comfortable. He finds a girl who he thinks is right for him. He calls it love after awhile.
a. Cultural compatibility plays a key role in finding a life partner. Social dominance or beauty will not guarantee the person you find attractive is right for you.
b. Different people have different standards for beauty/attractiveness/social dominance. Mika recently wrote a song about how chubby girls are attractive in their own way. DONT JUDGE PEOPLE too much.
c. Attractiveness may literally be "chemical". Scientists now believe that people with differing sets of genes for bacterial/viral immunity are more likely to like each other's natural scent (eg. the smell of your t shirt after you've worn it all night to sleep).
What im trying to say is that there are other factors that come in to play asides from the major ones in red and blue.
...the person whom i very much would have liked to spend my life with was NOT the prettiest person i've ever dated. We were compatible, and in her I saw "home". I cant explain it, but I did find her reasonably attractive. Unfortunately, we were to go our separate ways...
I recently completed placement at a health center where I dealt with issues pertaining to indigenous healthcare. Much of it dealt with a "sense of place". It is not some special connection indigenous people have with the land - it is actually inherent in all people from all cultures. In retrospect, that may have been why I saw 'home' in her. More on that another day.
Thank you for reading. Comments and feedback are very much welcome =)
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