Sunday, September 16, 2007
The Sesquipedalian Miracle Pill
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
Last friday, i learnt of a drug that promises to revolutionize medicine. Here's some facts that I gathered from the lecture:
1) It has been shown to be just as effective at suppressing cough as any current cough medicines.
2) It does produce side effects, although they are completely temporary and non-harmful.
3) It reduces anxiety.
4) It aids in reactivating existing bodily functions such as disease immunity.
5) It reduces the biological effects of stress, improving healing and regeneration.
6) Helps prevent cancer by improving activity of anti cancer cells.
7) May prolong lifespan and improve quality of life.
8) Patients are a little wiser after completion of treatment if they are given a special vérité pill.
9) It has half the potency of Morphine in reducing post operative pain.
Many varieties of the drug exist, but it has been noted that the more sesquipedalian versions of the drug have a more potent effect. Similarly, more unpleasant tasting oral versions of the drug are more powerful. Injections are the ideal way for dispensing the drug with maximum effect. It could be surgically administered but it is no longer done for ethical reasons.
The name of the most efficient form of the drug is:
dioxyribosynctio-2-isoflaviogen activated hex-4-chromino-telomerase.
also known by it's commercial name: "Placebo". It has been proven by randomized controlled trials that no cough medicine actually works. Codeine makes you sleepy and doesnt count as people cough less when they are sleepy. and yes, it does produce side effects... depending on what the patient is told, of course.
Thanks for visiting ezralimm.blogspot.com. I shall end this post with a sesquipedalian sentence: Placebos make people feel that they have been treated and reduces anxiety and stress that in turn reduce biological factors such as corticosteroids that suppress the immune system that also protects the body from cancer which is a known factor in reducing life expectancy and quality of life.