Confession: I Have Chronic Motivational Deficiency Disorder (MoDeD)

Bubbly...

In an article published in the British Medical Journal in April 2006 (vol 332), researcher Leth Argos discovered the disorder using a combination of positron emission tomography and low scores on a motivation rating scale. Professor Argos claims that "This disorder is poorly understood" and "it's underdiagnosed and undertreated.". Thankfully, a new drug is in phase II of clinical trials to treat the disease. Indolebant(TM) is a cannabinoid CBI receptor antagonist that is "effective and well tolerated".

MoDeD (Motivational Deficiency Disorder) is a condition that is claimed to affect up to one in five Australians. It is characterized by overwhelming and debilitating apathy. Neuroscientists at the University of Newcastle say that in severe cases, motivational deficiency disorder can be fatal, because the condition reduces the motivation to breathe. Critics say that ordinary laziness is being medicalised. David Henry, a clinical pharmacologist, claims that "Indolebant may bring some relief to those with a debilitating form of MoDeD, but common laziness is not a disease. People have an absolute right to just sit there.".

According to the BMJ, a study of the economic impacts of MoDeD estimates the condition may be costing the Australian economy $A2,400,000,000 a year in lost productivity. This has prompted calls from industry and advocacy groups for a fast tracking of the regulatory assesment of Indolebant in Australia and worldwide.

Personally, I have a feeling that Motivational Deficiency Disorder is somehow caused by chronic exposure to Dihydrogen Monoxide (Hydrogen Hydroxide). It is already known to cause:

  • Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
  • Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
  • Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
  • DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
  • Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
  • Contributes to soil erosion.
  • Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
  • Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
  • Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
  • Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
  • Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
  • Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
  • Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.
Corporations are profiting billions from the use of Dihydrogen Monoxide and are suppressing it's side effect by controlling the media. What is this world coming to? The ozone hole is growing bigger and karma levels are at an all time low. I sit in my room... staring at the hypnotic glow of my lavalamp. Trying to motivate myself to breathe...


Reccomended Reading:
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/extract/332/7544/745-a

Do Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoppJOtRLe4

1 Comments:

Unknown said...

Absolutely lovable! I truly enjoyed this piece :D

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